Rock the Boat
by Atropos' Knife
Summary: So, what if our boys got stranded in the middle of the ocean? Five dorks in a small space with no food doing what normal hot and bothered males with lethal weapons do when faced with survival. Normal. Riiight. Set during the Venus de Milo arc.
1. I'm Not That Tough, Y' Know?

"**Rock the Boat"**

**Disclaimer : **If I really did own "GetBackers" I would've cast them adrift for real BWAHAHAHA…

**A/N : **Pointless three-part _'what-if?'_ nonsense that was actually the first ever GB plot bunny ever to Frankenstein out of my head. Thought I'd resurrect it to break the toll I'm taking from writing my other fic (to those readers following it; don't worry, Himiko's grief continues, I promise, hehe). Anyway, I hope this little piece of mayhem suffices in the meantime. Based more on the anime version of events that happen in the Venus de Milo arc (since Kazuki and the _**boat**_ don't even actually _appear_ in the manga version! ).

Enjoy!

* * *

**Part One : I'm Not That Tough, Y' Know?**

_Sploosh!_

Heave.

_Splash!_

Triumphantly, chibi-Amano Ginji wiped his stubby little paws clean after tossing out the heaviest piece of 'junk' off the boat. Beaming happily, he turned towards the rumpus that was his brawling fellow retrieval agents and got four pairs of bulging eyes staring right back at him instead.

That second between disbelief and sudden realization hit them like the awful sensation of one moment you're feeling fine and then next thing you know, your gut explodes, screaming bloody MURDER on the bullet train to the nearest restroom. For those in the know (and not as if anyone on the boat would ever care to admit to such), that was _exactly_ how it felt.

"AAAAAAGGGHHHHH!"

"Oops."

**-o-**

Mido Ban had his arms hooked awkwardly around Emishi Haruki's legs and was in the process of throwing him overboard when he heard the ominous splashing noises. Feeling what had seemed was his brain sinking into his stomach, he noticed that the tiny craft was instantly, conspicuously – horrifyingly - empty.

"Ngggghhhh… GIN-_JIIIIIIIIIIII_!"

Ban unceremoniously dumped the whip expert on his ass and lunged at his runt of a partner. Grasping the doll-like creature by the hair, he bull-horned into his puffy SD face.

"You stupid, dumb, retarded _BAKA_!" Apparently, Ban was a proponent of redundancy being a good thing when trying to make a point.

"_Gomen_, Ban-chan…" Ginji whimpered with a sheepish smile.

"Apologize to the arms, moron!" Ban howled as he drop-kicked the blond _tare_ into the moon in the horizon. Everyone else stupidly watched Ginji's wriggling silhouette fall helplessly against the white light before landing in the distance with a pathetic plop.

Fuyuki Shido threw steel-gray dagger looks at the suddenly "S"-less retriever. "What the hell did you do that for?" he growled, bunching up his fists. "Now we'll have to go back and get him, you fool!"

"If you want to join him, monkey trainer, it'll be my pleasure," Ban fumed while cracking his knuckles.

"Why you arrogant –" the Beastmaster inadvertently bowled over his teammate as he charged towards the brunette _dakkanya_. Emishi, who was still struggling on his sea legs, then totally lost balance and found himself bending over backwards on the edge of the boat.

"Ai… Aiiii – yaaahhh!" he yelled before toppling down the drink with a dull _splish_.

The two beastie boys grabbed each other by their jacket lapels, oblivious to the fact they were now two crew members short.

"This is your fault, snake bastard!" Shido sneered. He held a menacing fist under Ban's chin.

He shoved his rival away and smoothened out his tuxedo. "Oh yeah? I really doubt you'd have gotten away with the Aphrodite without my Evil Eye. So you owe me thanks, chimp!" Ban derided. "Actually, I demand a commission seeing as I completed the job for you wannabes."

"Asshole! If it weren't for us you'd be Miss Hera's target practice dummy by now." Shido pushed back.

"Heh! Knock it off guys! I need to turn this boat around and you're rocking it!" Fuuchouin Kazuki shouted above the grinding din of the motor, his deathly grip on the steering wheel belying his outwardly checked temper.

"Tch! Silly of me to expect gratitude from a missing link like you," the Jagan master spat.

"You want gratitude? Fine. I'll give you gratitude – with my fist!" The Beastmaster squared his shoulders, recoiled, and threw a punch.

Ban quickly sidestepped the attack. "Ha! Missed!" he trumpeted.

Swiping at nothing but the breeze, Shido's forward momentum brought him flailing half over the boat and half over water. "Shit!" Pivoting, he reached back for the nearest support he could grab; which was, conveniently enough, the snake man's smug head. Together, they tumbled out.

"FU -! _Glurrgghh…_" Ban managed to blurt before his face got dunked into the warm ocean.

Kazuki flipped his long, wind-swept mane and glanced over his shoulder. He knew trouble had been brewing the minute the craft got progressively more silent.

"Oh great," he sighed and ruefully shook his head. The good news was the boat was now light enough to reach shore on a leaky gas tank. The bad news? It was totally empty of cargo and (idiotic) crew.

Not that the thought hadn't crossed his mind; that Kazuki could simply continue on his way to shore, hire a new boat, and come back in a few hours to pick up the, er… survivors. After all, one of them reaching land was better than none at all, right? Besides, Shido was perfectly capable of whistling for a dolphin or some such animal to help him out. And knowing how Emishi was _always_ at Shido's heels, he'd probably find a way to tag along.

As for Mido Ban… Kazuki made a face that marred his feminine features. Heck, that brash charlatan was so full of hot air he could practically hovercraft himself all the way to Taiwan for all he cared.

But… the thread master couldn't possibly leave his Raitei behind. No sir. Even if it meant the horrid prospect of all of them being stranded in the middle of the sea together. With his bells wildly resounding his frustrations rather than himself, Kazuki took one last check on his fuel gauge and pushed the boat's gears to full throttle. Making a hard left turn on the wheel, he forced the craft into a wide, sweeping arc back towards the spot where he thought the chibi had fallen.

"I'm coming, Ginji-san!" the former Volts lieutenant shouted.

**-o-**

Ban and Shido popped out simultaneously from under the surf to the sight of the moonlight reflecting off each other's scowling faces. Coughing and angrily sputtering petrol-tainted salt water, their bickering resumed from where they left off.

"Sonofabitch! I'm not your friggin' personal floatation device!" the Jagan master cursed vehemently as his arms skimmed the surface.

"Screw you! If I go down, you go down!" Shido kicked against the tide, desperately trying to drift away from his insufferable rival. But the strong current held him back stubbornly, pushed him even; the rhythmic slap of the waves hitting Shido's broad back as though chanting _fight… fight… fight_!

Ban stared contemptuously as the Beastmaster struggled to stay afloat. "Hmph! I guess what they say is wrong. You monkeys can swim after all."

To which Shido answered by swatting water into Ban's precious assets.

"Aaagghh! Dammit! You got gasoline into my eyes!"

As Ban rubbed his evil baby blues, Shido simply gave out a barely discernible chortle. Then, he noticed their boat's fast approach. "Good. _My_ ride's arrived," the former Volts King announced and began waving his arms vigourously in the air. "Kazuki! Kazuki! Over here!"

But the string-style expert's one-track focus was fixed dead ahead and, unintentionally (or not. It was hard to tell) paid no heed to the two dark heads bobbing in his periphery. To his consternation, Shido realized the speeding boat had no intention of slowing down. Worse, it even looked to run him over.

"What the - ?" he exclaimed as the hull hurtled past him and Ban, sending a wall of inky water that smashed into their faces like a giant cast iron frying pan. Both chorused a mutual roar of pain.

If anything, at least Ban and Shido could finally agree on something.

Meanwhile, a hundred or so meters behind, Emishi began to swim towards what he assumed was certain rescue. "Save me, Kazuki-han, save me!" the wannabe comedian warbled in a faux damsel-in-distress voice. Yet, the boat snubbed him, and his pleas, too, were answered by an inundating wave that blasted the glasses off his surprised face.

"Ack!" Emishi shrieked while fumbling about the churning sea for his trademark pink frames. He'd hate to lose such an irreplaceable item, knowing full well he'd be hard-pressed to find another pair like it in the world. Even on eBay.

Unfortunately, his fingers grazed plastic, and with a heavy, ecstatic sigh of relief, the whip specialist reset the shades firmly on his nose – leaving everybody to suffer its atrocity for yet another day.

Blinking curiously at the boat's stern which was hurriedly sailing away, Emishi asked loudly, "Kazuki-han! Is it something I said?"

Kazuki slowed the boat to a leisurely crawl as it entered the vicinity where Ginji had landed. "Ginji-san! Where are you?" he hollered into the vast, open space, scanning for a distinct patch of yellow-gold on the moonlit surface, like searching for a glowing sun amidst an ocean of glittering stars. Then, spotting what looked like a deflated beach ball being tossed about in the swell, Kazuki steered in its direction, careful not to collide with it.

"Ginji-san? Are you all right?" the Fuuchouin heir inquired with concern while parking beside the wet, wilted, round blob thing. He peered over the side of the deck and reached out.

"Wah! Kazu-chan! I knew you'd come back!" chibi-Ginji bubbled as Kazuki fished him out of the sea like a soggy piece of flotsam and jetsam.

"Of course. Don't forget, you're still paying for the ride," The long-haired informer smiled, finding it impossible to be irritated at the cheerfully bouncing ball of energy in his hands…

… even if he _did_ just dump the century's greatest art find and the biggest haul in the history of drug busts down the drain.

Ginji chuckled as he reverted back to his normal form. Then, his large brown eyes suspiciously surveyed his surroundings. "Um… Where is everyone?"

Kazuki pushed the boat back into its original course to the groans and rumbles of the gas-starved engine. "They… I guess they all decided to join you for a swim," he quipped with a hopeless shrug.

The vessel putt-putted along valiantly for a few feet before gasping on the tank's last fumes and finally choking to a full stop. As it swayed gently, Kazuki tried keying the ignition repeatedly – to no avail. Sighing, he collapsed into the captain's chair. "That's it. We are now officially dead in the water."

Ginji pouted and scratched his head. 'I'm sorry Kazu-chan. I suppose this is all my fault."

The former right-hand man waved his leader off. "What's done was done. You're partner didn't have to kick you out, you know?" He tried to keep his tone neutral, an always difficult feat when referring to the snake man.

"Hehe. Well, that's Ban-chan for you. He sorta has trouble keeping his cool sometimes."

Kazuki rolled his eyes and muttered inaudibly. "No kidding."

**-o-**

Two pairs of arms propellered wildly on the water, chugging and whipping up a froth towards the solitary boat.

"You better… not… turn into… a swordfish… _glub_… or something," Ban warned, his head dipping and re-surfacing as he free-styled briskly for the finish.

" – and don't… you dare… use your… Snake Bite… as a damn… paddle…" Shido sputtered next to his competition. He held a slight lead over the smaller man.

Emishi lowered his glasses and glimpsed the miniature tsunami headed his way. As he meekly attempted to dog-crawl out of its rampaging path, he wondered if hooking up with Shido and his new 'friends' on the outside was more trouble than what it was worth. Certainly, Emishi didn't expect to be wishing he was back in the comparative safety of Mugenjou so soon. At least there weren't any man-eating sharks around, he thought. Or were there?

Suddenly, he paused in the water and made a funny face.

"Oi! Wait up!" the whip expert called out as he hastily joined the convoy of racers.

Soon, with a few more broad strokes, Shido reached the rear of the boat and effortlessly hauled himself into the cabin space. "Ha! Ha! I could've transformed into a rabbit and I still would've beaten you," the victor blustered with arms akimbo as he lorded it over the stragglers.

"Aw, shove a banana in it, baboon! You brag too much for someone who barely beat a guy whose arm is practically _hacked off_." A bit of an exaggeration, true, but Ban further pushed his point by climbing up by his uninjured left arm.

"Boo-hoo…" Shido hooted, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

"Hey, Ban-chan… I'm really sorry," Ginji sidled up to his partner and pleaded for forgiveness with the moistest, roundest, most vulnerable seal pup eyes he could muster. "But you did say we should dump everything, so – "

"You're the last person I need a logic lesson from, dork!" his best friend retorted, refusing to meet those gooey, brown puddles. "I'm not speaking to you – " Ban paused for a beat. Then, he added, " – yet."

"Ban-chan…" The blond frowned.

Clicking his tongue, Kazuki could hardly suppress a slight, knowing smile from gracing his placid features.

"Yo, thread spool! Now that bottom-feeder's here – " Ban jerked a thumb back at a wheezing, soaking wet Emishi, who was complaining that the Loulan clan were a landlocked people and therefore weren't natural-born swimmers.

" – care to move this junk anytime this year?"

The _annaiya_ swiveled in his seat and flashed the rude ingrate a killer narrow glare. He folded his arms tightly. It was the most Kazuki could do to keep from using his strings as fishing tackle and actually casting Ban overboard as shark bait.

"If you hadn't noticed, the apparent lack of noise coming from the motor should tell you we aren't going anywhere."

_(Five stages of an imminent volcanic eruption : 1. Low-intensity earthquakes)_

"WHAT?" Ban's head, shoulders, and fists trembled fiercely. "How could you lose all our fuel so soon?"

"Making those hard turns ate up the gas," Kazuki deadpanned. Fortunately, his relatively good nature prevented him from adding 'you hot-headed idiot!' to that reply. "… you know, so I could _get back_ your _partner_?"

"Is there an extra can of gas around?"

"No."

"Surely, we can radio the Coast Guard at least," Emishi suggested hopefully.

Kazuki shook his head. "Sorry. This boat doesn't have a radio, or a GPS unit, or a beacon for that matter."

_( 2. Fissures open on the slope, venting steam)_

"A sea fishing vessel with no friggin' radio? Are you out of your mind?" Ban howled incredulously. The pressure in his skull mounted so much it practically blow dried his damp hair into its usual porcupine quills. "Do you actually have a brain in that thread head of yours or did it all go to your hair?"

The Fuuchouin heir gnashed his teeth behind the grim line of his lips. "Look who's talking. I, for one, don't see your brain or _your boat_ anywhere."

"You calling me stupid, cross-dresser?"

"Don't…" Kazuki plucked a bell out of his queue of hair. Biting his tongue, he countered sternly. "You said it, not I."

"_Maa… Maa_…" Emishi inserted himself between the combatants. Kazuki shooting out his strings in such a small space was definitely not a good idea. "Okay, so we don't have fuel or a radio. What about the ferries? Ferries ply these routes between the Okinawan islands all the time, right?"

"Yes," the string-style master uttered. "I read the ferry schedules and I know one made a trip to Warship Islet just this morning."

"So. Another will come by later. What time?" Ban grumbled impatiently.

"Seven o'clock – " He paused dramatically. " – next Sunday."

_( 3. Glowing red magma rises to the surface and flows out of every crack)_

"Shit! That's like…" Feeling the blood about to burst out of his ears, Ban was slow to do the math. " … a fucking week away! Is that the only one?"

"What do you expect? An uninhabited former mining site is hardly a tourist destination. The only reason why a ferry even made a journey today was because of the auction."

"So we're stranded here?" Ginji gulped as he poured water out of his shoe.

Emishi shrugged. "Then I guess hitching a ride on the cruise ship is out of the question?"

"Right," Shido snorted sarcastically. "I can see Ryuu Mouen and Miss Hera rolling out the welcome mat right now. 'Hello there. You'll be glad to know we got rid of the Aphrodite and the arms for you. And, by the way, can we get a ride back to the mainland, please?'"

"And I'd hate to run into the Mirokus again – all seven of them," Ginji cringed. Though, honestly, he really didn't mind meeting Yukihiko, especially if he brought more ice cream cones and forgot about that thing about sucking him into a black hole. Oh, and maybe even Kirara, if only she were less murderess and more… seductress. Him stripping off her vestment and finding out she was one-hundred percent female turned out to be a _very pleasant_ surprise indeed. Ginji looked up and blushed ruby red at the memory.

The Beastmaster fiddled with his bandanna irritably. "I could try whistling for some dolphins provided they're within hearing range. But since this area isn't good feeding ground…" He threw up his hands in dismay.

_( 4. Pyroclastic debris forms a dome at the mouth of the volcano)_

"Heh. Just as I thought. You're as useless on water as you are on land, monkey face!" Ban spewed. "The only thing you're good for now is if you transform into a cow. That way, we can butcher you and eat beef jerky for a week."

Shido hurled himself and clamped both hands around Ban's neck. "Dammit! Not before I turn you into fish food first!" They knocked and scuffled around a bit until the inevitable dunk back into the ocean.

Ginji leaned over the side of the boat and watched as his friends took turns trying to drown each other. "Ban-chan! Shido-nii! If it makes both of you feel better, when I die you can eat _me_ instead," he offered.

(One wonders how much more _wrong_ that true story "Alive" would be if it were these guys trapped on the Andes rather than the Uruguayan rugby team.)

"Ginji-san, no one's going to eat you." Kazuki tried not to laugh. "Survival's Rule of Three states that you can only go three minutes without air, three hours without shelter, three days without water, and three weeks without food. Therefore, before any one of us starves to death, we'd all probably die of thirst first," he explained with endearing exasperation.

Ginji took a while to process this overwhelming little factoid in his airy head. Then he grinned. "Oh. Okay. That's nice to hear. Because… If you guys ate me I'm not sure how good I'd taste."

Kazuki and Emishi couldn't help but trade looks of amazement. Er… right.

"Gee, Kazuki-han, I feel better now that I know I have a life expectancy of three days," Emishi groaned.

The thread master smiled as if hiding a wicked secret. Then he took out a five-liter container out of the cabinet next to him and tapped it with his foot. "I've got the water covered. If we only drink as much as we need, I'm guessing we'll last a few days just fine. And I'm pretty sure Hevn-san will have found us by then."

Ban lurched back onto the deck and clapped his hands patronizingly. "Bravo,_ itomaki_. Glad to see you had enough foresight to bring drinking water yet forget the freakin' radio. You're such a good _girl_ scout." Mockingly, he held up the scout's three-fingered salute.

The angry jingling that ensued made the gang wonder if those were actually tambourines in Kazuki's hair rather than bells. "Will you please quit whining about the radio already?" he refuted defensively, his voice raised a couple of octaves higher.

Kazuki pointed an accusing finger at his persecutor. "Besides, I don't think calling the authorities for help is such a wise idea knowing that you guys stole the targets on live TV and that your tuxedo-wearing mugshot was broadcast nationwide."

Ban pursed his lips and began taking off his bow-tie. Eh. He had to admit the string bean (sort of) had a point.

"Oh, let the authorities come," Shido grunted as he climbed aboard. "We can always claim the bastard hijacked us… which he kind of did."

The snake man and the Beastmaster exchanged inhuman hisses.

"So, how long do you think it'll be before we're missed?" Emishi asked.

Kazuki bit his lip and briefly deliberated possible scenarios. He then took a deep breath. "Well, Hevn-san probably won't be expecting contact from us earlier than tomorrow afternoon. Granted, she wonders where we are by evening and given the fact that this is a sensitive, top-secret job; let's assume Hevn-san only manages to organize a search party by morning the next day…"

Ban shook his head maniacally. "No way that blood-sucking leech takes that long. Hevn would sooner die from lack of commission before we die from lack of water."

Kazuki arched a perfect brow and darted a disdainful look at him. "Nonetheless… barring another boat or small aircraft passes our way, I figure we're stuck here for another two days –" Pause. Shrug.

" – or three."

Silence. The only sounds heard were the whispers of the ocean wind and the waves gently lapping at the boat's smooth hull like kisses on naked skin. Ten seconds… Twenty… Then…

_( 5. KA-BOOM!)_

"Aw, Shit! Fuck, no!" Ban exploded, stomping his foot wildly. "The hell I'm spending three days cooped-up with you annoying dimwits! No goddamn way!" He started to hyperventilate. Who knew being trapped in the middle of the ocean could feel so – claustrophobic?

Ostensibly, Shido felt the same. The collective growls of a hundred food chain predators rumbled in his throat. Animal instinct and the law of natural selection kicked in. In a microcosm where two like-species compete for dominance eventually leading to the inevitable elimination of the other; the boat wasn't nearly big enough for the both of them. And so the Beastmaster did what was necessary in this, a game of survival of the fittest…

"Fine! Then leave!" Shido bellowed like a lion as he roughly shoved Ban out of the boat. And for the fourth (or fifth, he lost count) time that night, the Jagan master was swallowed up by the sea – again.

"Ptuh! Ptuh!" Ban spurted violently and splashed a massive jet of saltwater into his rival's face with his arms (though Ginji and Emishi got showered as well).

The driest man remaining, Kazuki lifted his feet slightly off the floor as an ankle-deep pool of water sloshed beneath him. The craft began listing to the side. "Hey! Stop! Do mind not flooding the boat and sinking it?" He scowled, completely losing his cool and looking almost – butch.

"He's right. Let's not expedite our death sentences, ya?" Emishi joked as he proceeded to bale out water using his shoes as ladles.

Ginji followed suit. "This is fun," he chirped while merrily scooping away.

Meanwhile, Ban hoisted himself back on board, staying as far away as possible from his arch-rival. Just in case.

"So, what do we do now?" Shido inquired gruffly as he sat down on the bench and began untying his own shoes.

"Organize what survival gear we have, I guess," Kazuki surveyed the bare cabin. Except for the jug of drinking water and that which was already bolted to the deck, he could find nothing else of use. "But I think we chucked everything out."

"Everything?" Ban's jaw dropped stupidly. "Flashlight? Flares?"

"Aa."

"Reflector?"

"Ditto."

"We've got to have at least a mirror somewhere, right?" Ban whinged. He then eyed the long-haired Fuuchouin heir skeptically. Kazuki glowered back. He knew he wasn't going to like the venom that foul mouth was about to spit out.

"Come on, admit it, thread spool. I'm sure you've got a powder compact or something hidden in your pocket, ne?" Ban made a come hither motion with his hand. "Out with it now."

Kazuki furiously contorted his face, took a length of koto string and pulled it taut between his hands like an assassin wielding piano wire. "I. Do. Not. Own. A. Compact!" he seethed.

Just as it seemed Kazuki was about to garrote the sniggering scamp, Shido blocked him by crouching down and scrounging around the boot of the dashboard.

"Nothing here either," the Beastmaster rummaged noisily. "… except for some fishing line, a couple of hooks and –" He turned on his knees and held up a small bottle. " – sunscreen. SPF 70."

"Ah, wonderful," Ban huffed. "That way, when they find our corpses, at least our skin will be smooth and supple and won't be red and crackly… like a roasted pig's."

Shido dejectedly leaned on the paneling and lightly banged the back of his head on the boat's controls. "Geez. I can't believe we might be stuck here for three shitty days doing… nothing."

"Hmm. Maybe it won't take that long," Kazuki commented dryly. "Who knows? We could all end up killing each other before dawn."

"In that case, I have first dibs on the snake bastard," Shido muttered.

Ginji abruptly stopped his childishly joyful baling and stared at the sulky expressions on his friends' faces. "Oh, come on guys. This isn't so bad. It'll be just like - I know! Camping," he pepped up brightly.

Mumbles. Grumbles. Snorts.

Enthusiastically, the blond added, "Yeah! We could sing songs, and play games, and sunbathe and stuff… Oh, and we might even learn more about each other! Wouldn't that be nice?"

Ginji found four sets of laser-guided missiles targeted at him in disbelief. He simply smiled and shrugged innocently.

"What?"

**-o-**

_(to be continued)_

**-o-**

* * *

"Alive" is the true story (and made into a movie starring Ethan Hawke) of a plane carrying the Uruguayan National Rugby team that crashed into the Andes mountains. In the ten weeks of their ordeal, the sixteen people who survived sustained themselves by cannibalizing their… teammates. Ugh. 


	2. Ship of Fools

"**Rock the Boat"**

**Disclaimer : **Not mine. As much as I want, I cannot even begin to fathom the kind of acid trip that Ayamine and Aoki are on right now in the manga. Hehe.

**A/N : **When your computer motherboard literally sounds an alarm that resembles that of an ambulance, you know it wants you to put it out of its misery. I just wish it didn't have to annoy _me_ to death as well. (sighs)

This chapter was supposed to be the conclusion of the story, but I found out it works better split in half. So, this fic is now in three parts. Will post the last chapter when I get my PC and DSL back up.

Thanks to all who read and reviewed. Glad you're finding it passably entertaining to read as it is for me to write. You guys are the best! Hope you like this chapter.

Enjoy:D

**

* * *

**

_**Part Two : Ship of Fools**_

_(One hour, four ruined jackets, and four wrinkly dress shirts later…)_

Whoever coined the phrase 'waiting is the hardest part' was obviously referring to these guys.

Ban, Ginji, Shido, Kazuki, and Emishi all spent the past hour of being adrift at sea turning what had become some sort of sea water jacuzzi back into the barely habitable boat cabin it used to be. The activity turned out to be a welcome respite as swabbing the deck with their jackets and shirts, wringing them out, then repeating the process over and over gave everyone an excuse not to talk to each other. Everyone, that is, except Emishi, who tried to foist his comedy routine on the unamused, unreceptive audience; and Ginji, who continued to ask 'worst case scenario' questions such as if it was okay to drink your own pee if there wasn't any water around.

(Theoretically, yes, Kazuki explained. But then again, there was a very good reason why the body pissed it out in the first place, so… no.)

With the boat relatively dried off, the boys went back to their regularly scheduled programming of waiting. And waiting. And waiting. The minutes passed. Shido intermittently tried whistling for any passing bird or sea mammal, to no response. Kazuki, grateful for the fact he could remain fully clothed, gave into his obsessive-compulsive tendencies and started hanging out his crew mates' jackets and shirts over the bow's railings to dry. Just because they were stranded didn't mean their quarters should look like some typhoon-ravaged teenage boy's room, the fastidious neat-freak reckoned.

Failing to convince anyone to duet with him, Emishi was now yodelling a godawful, tone-deaf rendition of "Endless Love" **(1)** - foolhardily taking on the Lionel Richie and Diana Ross parts all by his lonesome.

"_My love… there's only you in my life… the only thing that's right…"_

While Emishi proceeded to skewer everybody's eardrums, Ginji sat forlornly with his chin cradled in his palm, making sad puppy-dog eyes at his aloof partner who stood tapping his foot agitatedly next to the steering.

"_Two hearts… two hearts that beat as one… our lives had just begun…"_

Ban's pride prevented him from answering Ginji's contrite gaze. And the bloody joker's sappy bullshit was nauseating, to say the least. He crushed the soggy pack of cigarettes in his pants pocket. "Goddammit! I need a smoke right now!" He threw a bratty tantrum above the off-key trilling.

"… _you will always beeee… my… endless… looooove…"_

_WHU-PAK!_

The one lousy applause Emishi received came courtesy of Shido's shoe smacking on top of his auburn head.

"Thank you!" Kazuki called out from the bow.

"You're welcome!" Shido yelled his reply while the whimpering whip-cracker nursed his aching noggin. "Death by karaoke is not the way I want to go."

Ban continued to fuss restlessly from the combined effects of the tight space, the nicotine withdrawals and his annoyance at Ginji's imbecility.

"Ban-chan, why don't you sit down?" the blond ventured meekly.

He turned his head away like a spoiled child and sniffed. "Monkey trainer, tell him I don't want to sit down if it means sitting next to him."

"Oh, so now I'm your spokesman? Forget it, scumbag." The Beastmaster shifted and joined his former Raitei on the opposite bench. "There. Now sit down! Your fidgeting is driving us nuts!"

Reluctantly, Ban stepped forward. But before taking his place beside Emishi, he flicked a questioning sideward glance at him.

"What? I don't have cooties, you know," Emishi remarked.

"Eh. I wouldn't be too sure if I were you," Ban smirked and settled down. "You're stuck so much on ape man here you probably have flea transference or something."

Shido jabbed the dirty finger in front of the Get Backer's face.

**-o-**

_(One hour later…)_

_squeaksqueak…_

_taptaptaptaptaptaptap…_

_shuffleshuffleshuffle…_

_tinkletinkle…_

_scritchscritchscritchscritch…_

Ah… A five-man orchestra performing 'Ode to Boredom in B Major'.

Ginji seemed on the verge of tears as he squirmed and fussed with the fabric of his trousers. "Man, I can't take it anymore!" he declared. "I'm taking my pants off!"

"Huh?"

With that, Ginji stood up, fumbled with his zipper a bit and dropped trou - revealing red boxer shorts with pink hearts to the astonished stares of his friends.

"Whoo! This feels so much better!" He sighed blissfully with relief as he stretched out and let the cool sea breeze swirl around his bare legs.

Emishi gazed enviously at his former Thunder Emperor's placid, dreamy expression. After a few decisive seconds, he, too, shot up. "Thank God! I thought I was the only one!" He quickly made short work of his pants and let them slide around his ankles. Kicking them off happily, Emishi did a little celebratory jig (and no, his boxers did not match his glasses).

"Whoa. Dying of dehydration already, are we?" Ban scoffed at the half-naked buffoons before him.

Kazuki tapped a finger to his chin. "You know, they're right. Sea water and petrol residue on clothes can irritate your skin and cause lesions. It's best to take them off and dry them first."

"Oh please. Why don't you cut the survivalist crap and just say it." Ban haughtily propped his feet up on the boat's edge. "All you want is an excuse to see us strip in front of you, huh?"

"Pardon?" The _annaiya_ went livid.

Ban twisted his head and flashed him a plastic demonic grin.

"Hey, Ginji-han, I like your shorts," Emishi raved at the Valentine's Day explosion covering the blond. Considering that hot pink sunglasses were the joker's idea of the epitome of cool, his admiration was hardly surprising. "Where'd you get them?"

"Oh, these?" Ginji smiled sunnily. "They were a birthday gift from Hevn-san and Natsumi-chan. They gave me a set of seven, one for each day of the week and in different colours, too."

Emishi's mouth opened into a jealous 'o'. "Wah! You lucky dog, you!" He wink-winked and nudge-nudged. "You know what they're trying to tell you, don't you?"

Ginji puckered his lips childishly and cocked his head to the side. "Uh… That I need more underwear?"

"No, dum-dum. Those two want to get into your pants."

"Emishi-san…" Kazuki groaned.

"Huh?" Ginji's eyes grew wide. Letting that ticklish, intriguing deduction sink in, he shook his head. "Nah… I don't think so. I mean, why would Natsumi-chan and Hevn-san want to do that? My pants are way too big to fit either of them…"

The joker fainted in his seat.

Ban, on the other hand, was slightly miffed at the implication that no one wanted to get into _his_ pants. "Pfftt… Hevn gave me ten cartons of smokes for Christmas last year. You mean to say that she's trying to tell me to drop dead from lung cancer?"

"The way you treat her boobs like giant pet guinea pigs, I'd say… yes," Shido snorted. Spastically, he bounced his knees and subtly raked the tips of his fingers on top of his thighs.

Emishi regarded his teammate and friend with curious concern. "Oi, Shido-kun. It's just us blokes here. You don't have to be shy…"

"Shut up! I'm fine," he insisted, never once detaching his narrow, steely glare from Ban's electric blue orbs.

"Heh. We'll see about that." The Jagan wielder nonchalantly adjusted his feet on the boat's railings, allowing the wind to channel into the cuffs of his pants.

Kazuki's perceptive dark eyes flitted from one stubborn-ass_ dakkanya_ to the other. "Oh, for God's sake!" he exclaimed with an imploring look to the heavens, realising they were on yet another one of their preposterous, unspoken contests - this time to see who could keep his pants on the longest. _Well, they'd better not come complaining to me about their festering blisters and sores later_, he thought.

Ban prepared himself for battle with his whole arsenal locked and loaded, even though admittedly, his own legs felt like they were being scrubbed by a cheese grater.

"The joker is right, zoo boy. There's nothing to be shy about. We're all mature adults here - "

Er… Somehow, that was highly debatable.

" - not unless, of course, you've got something to hide."

"Something to hide?" Shido emitted a low warning growl. Retractable claws involuntarily jutted through his fingers and dug deeper into flesh.

"'Cause I understand your reluctance totally, knowing you're probably just wearing a buck-skin loincloth, or a leaf-vine G-string, or a hollow gourd or something," Ban mused tauntingly.

The Beastmaster's teeth grinding was as loud as cracking nuts.

"Actually, I heard you tree-dwellers like to go _au naturel_…"

To the stunned gapes of his ex-Volts mates, Shido launched off his seat and impetuously pulled down his trousers. "Now are you satisfied, you bastard?" The sudden flash from the plain white of his shorts was practically blinding in the moonlit darkness.

"Psych!" Ban gloated and triumphantly pumped his arm in the air. "Ding! Ding! Ding! And we have a winner!"

Shido took a step, hulked over his rival and poked a finger in his face. "If you ever, EVER, suggest that we Mariudo don't use underwear again, I'm gonna kill you."

"Whatever, Tarzan."

Kazuki creased his forehead and squinted at his comrade with slight disappointment. "I can't believe you fell for that."

Shido could finally sit down with ease. Of the two brunette retrieval agents, he was, by far, the more comfortable one. "Tch! Who cares? The reptile can keep his itchy pants on if he likes," he snarled. "Who knows? It might even slough off a few layers of that thick skin."

"Well, you know what they say," Ban pontificated. "Real men wear pants."

**-o-**

_(An hour-and-a-half; and a trouser-less, rash-afflicted Ban; later…)_

If what a certain snake man had postulated about real men wearing pants was true, then that adage was probably referring to Kazuki, who, ironically, was now the only one left wearing the pants on this ship of fools.

"Hey, Kazuki! Don't you have any hydrocortisone cream or something around here?" Ban wailed as he scratched himself every which way.

"And why do you think I'd have that on me?" Kazuki dubiously replied, finding it highly unamusing how Ban called him by name _only_ when he needed something. "First, powder, and now itch ointment. What am I, a drug store?"

Meanwhile, Shido had spent the past hour scanning the horizon with his sharp eyes and ears for any signs of animals or vehicles. "Shhhh! Quiet! I think I hear a speedboat!" He craned his neck, trying to isolate the source of the sound and then pointed. "Over there. About four kilometres north-west, in the direction of the port."

"Really?" Emishi shot up excitedly. He hollered into the night. "Help! Help! Mayday!"

"Pipe down, dummy! They can't hear you from this distance," Shido scolded.

Ban's sapphire eyes illuminated. "Light! Light! We need to send a distress signal!" He shouted frantically, roughly dragging the awkwardly twisted snoozing form of his partner off the bench.

"Ginji! Get up!"

"Wha-? Is it breakfast already?" The blond yawned, groggily trying to find his feet and his way.

"Don't you ever think of anything else but food?" Ban forced Ginji up the front of the boat.

"Sure I do," he drawled while climbing up the gentle incline of the bow. "Like girls…" Pause. Smile. "… with food."

Ginji reached the nose of the craft and glanced at Ban for further instruction. "Now stand and fire up a plasma ball with your hand," the brunette commanded.

He automatically obeyed. Yet, as he summoned his energy, Ginji questioned, "Wait, Ban-chan. I thought you weren't speaking to me."

"I'm not. I'm _ordering_ you. Totally different thing."

"Oh. In that case…" The blond cheerfully produced a brilliant green globe of pure energy that encapsulated his fist.

"Now, hold it up," Ban directed impatiently.

"You mean like the Venus de Milo?"

"No, dumbass! Like the Statue of Liberty!" Ban grabbed Ginji's arm and raised it.

_Venus de Milo _or_ Statue of Liberty? _Ginji pouted. Why did these sculptures have to be so darn confusing? Suddenly, he let his arm slip and shuddered. "Uh, Ban-chan? What if the guy in the boat is, _urp!_ Akabane-san?"

His best friend jerked his wrist back up. "Then we kill him and steal his boat. Dork! You really think Jackal moonlights as a lifeguard and goes around rescuing people?"

"Well, he _is_ a doctor, right?" Ginji nervously reasoned. Ghastly visions of Akabane Kuroudo dressed in red swim trunks as he ran slo-mo on a beach a'la _'Baywatch'_ fried his mind. _BLECH!_ he retched.

"Okay, now what?"

"We send an S.O.S." The Jagan master's tone faltered somewhat, not quite sure exactly how to do that.

Kazuki began rubbing his throbbing temples. "I don't think Ginji-san can flick his electricity on and off like a light switch, you know," he said a matter-of-fact. "Besides, no one uses Morse Code nowadays, do they?"

"Funny that didn't occur to you _before_ you decided to rent a boat with no communication devices, genius," Ban snarked. He took his jacket off the railing and spread it out between his hands. "So we improvise."

Getting behind Ginji and positioning him within his arms, Ban created a makeshift shutter for the light with the black coat. "It's 'dot, dot, dot; dash, dash, dash; dot, dot, dot;' right?"

"Yeah," Kazuki answered indifferently.

The retrieval agent-turned-semaphore man animatedly waved his arms up and down in front of the glowing orb; first in rapid succession, then with one-second interludes, and then in rapid succession again.

The snuggled-up Get Backers standing on the tip of the bow reminded Emishi of a grossly bastardised re-enactment of a famous scene from a certain mawkish, highly over-rated Academy Award-winning boat movie.

Yes, _that_ one.

"_Near… far… wherever you are…_**(2)**_"_ the joker warbled as Ban and Ginji continued to go through the motions of dots and dashes.

Despite the boat being relatively still, Shido was turning green from seasickness. "Emishi! You sing one more note of that song and I'll sink your butt!"

"Hey! That last one looked like a 'dash, dot, dot'," Kazuki pointed out.

"Did not!" Ban shouted. Aesclepius or no Aesclepius, his arms now felt like limp strands of sea kelp.

"Did so!"

"Not!"

"Did!"

"What does 'dash, dot, dot' mean?" Ginji interrupted the rapidly de-evolutionizing quality of the conversation.

"It stands for 'D'," Kazuki replied.

"S-O-D," Shido spelled out with a snort. "Nice job, freak. You called our rescuer a _sod_. We're definitely gonna be saved for sure."

"Guys, you're going about it the wrong way," Emishi helpfully opined. " We should signal _'Free booze and babes here!'_ Bet that'll get them coming."

Shido cupped a hand to his ear. After a minute, he announced. "Forget it. The speedboat's gone."

"Awww…" Everybody sighed a collective grumble.

_Hehe._ Dropping his hand, Shido smiled to himself. Actually, it had been a while since he heard signs of a whirring motor. He mischievously held back that bit of information just so he could watch Ban go on making an ass of himself.

**-o-**

_(Another hour later…)_

As it was already way past midnight, the boys decided to take turns sleeping on the flat, passably spacious bow. While Kazuki took first shift, the Get Backers began fettering fishing lines and hooks around the boat railings.

"Geez, we've only been castaway for five hours and you're starving to death already?" Shido reflected out loud.

"Look, the last thing I had that remotely resembled food was a measly packet of biscuits on the plane this morning," Ban said grouchily as he searched around for bait material. "My blood sugar's turning into salt, dammit!"

"And even though I had dinner with Yukihiko-chan, some sashimi would be nice, too," Ginji added buoyantly.

The brunette tweaked his partner's ear. "What? Miroku treated you to a freaking buffet?"

"Ow! Ow! Sorry, Ban-chan. But he had ice cream! Ice cream, Ban-chan! And I waited for you, but you weren't around…"

"That's because your new best friend tried to make sashimi out of _me_, you idiot!"

Ginji grimaced. "To be fair, I think it was Natsuhiko who did that."

"Tch! You befriend one, you befriend them all…" Ban made one last pull on Ginji's ear then smacked his head away. He continued lowly, "… and vice versa."

The Jagan master wondered briefly how he would've fared if _he_ had faced the Mirokus. Quickly changing the subject, Ban espied a pile of wet socks in the corner. "Okay, who's got the smelliest feet?"

Shido felt snake eyes bore into him. "Why the hell are you looking at me?" he growled ferociously.

Snickering, Ban picked up a sock and ripped it to shreds, which he then attached to the fishing hooks as lures. "Heh. This is the closest thing to rotting meat we have." He suddenly stopped his task and a smirk that spelled big trouble curled up his lips. "Yo, chimp. Speaking of meat…"

_Oh God…_ Shido lamented to himself. Just how long was he expected to last without seriously attempting to murder this bastard?

"… shouldn't you be a vegetarian or something?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"It's simple, really," Ban ho-hummed. "Seeing as you have no qualms about being an omnivore, don't you have a moral crisis of conscience every time you eat one of your _friends_? You know, like Cow-san, Ms. Piggie, Chicken-chan, Salmon-kun, Tuna-sempai…"

The Beastmaster's jaw plunked down to the floor. "I don't believe this," he muttered incredulously. He turned to Emishi for support.

The whip expert sheepishly shrugged. "Ehhh… I kinda wondered about that myself."

"It's not the same -" he stammered.

"Oh, so you mean as long as someone else butchers your friends, it's all right to eat them?" Again, emphasis on 'friends'.

"Ye- No… I mean…"

"And on a related note, don't you feel the least bit of guilt watching your poor pals martyr themselves for your sake whenever you're in trouble?" Ban pondered wickedly and then imitated a tinny, mouse-like squeak. "We stupid creatures gladly walk in the shadow of the valley of death when our almighty Beastmaster calls for our help. Aggghhhhh! Forgive us, Monkey-sama, for we have but one life to give to save your ass…"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You don't understand anything!" Shido stood up and stomped around, roaring so loud that Kazuki bolted up violently from his slumber. He plucked Ban off his seat by the hair.

"What on earth is going on?" Kazuki drowsily demanded.

Chibi-Ginji squished himself between the snarling, frothing-at-the-mouth, rabid pitbulls. "Ehehehe… Ban-chan accused Shido of eating his friends."

Kazuki slapped his forehead. "Good grief. You woke me up for that?" The _annaiya_ sighed and went back to sleep.

Meanwhile, Emishi scrutinised the ridiculous hubbub in front of him and got a bright idea. "Say, since we're revealing stuff about ourselves anyway, why don't we play 'Truth or Dare'?" he suggested.

"Shut up!"

**-o-**

_(Twenty-five minutes later…)_

"_Guuuuys …"_ Emishi wheedled.

"NO!"

**-o-**

_(One hour and… Aw, heck. Who knew, really? None of these goofs wore watches after all)_

"Truth."

Kazuki's usually soft chocolate-brown eyes narrowed and challenged Ban to hit him with his best shot. _Damn it._ He figured 'truth' was the lesser of two evils. For in choosing the alternative, who knew what that hentai snake would dare him to do?

"You better not be lying, _itomaki_." Ban rubbed his hands in anticipation. "Fuuchouin Kazuki, are you a -"

"No."

The Jagan master's eyes grew as large as day-glo frisbees. "The hell? I haven't even asked the question yet!" He went berserk.

"No need. I knew what you were going to ask," Kazuki sniffed.

"Oh, so you read minds now?"

"With one as filthy as yours, it's easy."

Ban gnashed his teeth, determined not to let the yarn ball get the upper hand. "Well, how do you know I wasn't going to ask if you were an undercover police agent or something?"

"Because you already know the answer to that question, and many others." Kazuki crossed his legs and arms and sat as regally as one could possibly sit in that cramped space. "And I'd still answer 'no'."

"What if I posed the question in the negative?" Ban persisted, wagging a finger in the poised man's face. "Then 'no' would've meant 'yes'."

"Excuse me, there is no way you could phrase _'Are you a blank?'_ in the negative that is answerable by a simple 'yes' or 'no'." Kazuki argued impatiently.

"Oh yeah? I bet I could structure a sentence in a way so that you would say 'yes' when you mean 'no' and 'no' when you mean 'yes'."

"When will you get it in your crazy brain that when I say 'no' I mean 'no'!" The thread master shouted.

Ginji and Shido went slack-jawed with befuddlement at this semantics debate. Who knew a question of 'yes' or 'no' could get so complicated?

"Give it a rest, will you?" Kazuki abruptly ended the discussion by turning to the Beastmaster. "Now, my turn. Shido-san, 'Truth or Dare'?"

He frowned and adjusted his bandanna, wanting badly to pull it over his eyes in embarrassment. "Shit. 'Truth', I guess."

His fellow Volts King smiled. There was no point in asking him about his relationship with Madoka. After all, Kazuki knew everything about their state of affairs - whether Shido told him or not. Not that there was much to know; but of course, he knew. So, he asked about the second-most-pondered-upon-mystery surrounding Shido.

"I've always wondered why you don't have any… eyebrows."

Ban threw his hands up in the air. "Gee, Thread Spool, you just wasted your chance on such a boring, lame-ass question," he dissented impishly. "What you should've asked was how long his schlo-"

_WHACK!_

(And that was, arguably, the third-most-pondered-upon-mystery)

"Your turn is over, you sonofabitch!" Shido hissed, detaching his knuckles from Ban's nearly broken nose. Calming down after that immensely gratifying strike, his fingers self-consciously grazed his kerchief-covered non-brow.

"I don't know. For as long as I can remember, I never had them. Guess they never grew."

"What a shocker, you genetic freak," Ban exclaimed nasally as he pinched his painful schnozz. "And I thought you gorillas were supposed to be covered in fur all over."

It took every ounce of Shido's willpower to remain plastered to his fibreglass bench. "You better be grateful I don't give a damn about your personal life or else I'd have you writing your autobiography in blood," he stated emphatically.

Softening his tone, Shido knocked Ginji playfully on the shoulder. "Hey, kid. 'Truth or Dare'?"

Since everyone was picking 'truth', he didn't think it would hurt to do the same. "Truth." Ginji smiled.

An uncharacteristically naughty glint sparkled in the Beastmaster's stern gray eyes. "Be honest, now. What did you think of Kazuki when you first met him?"

Kazuki shot his friend a dirty look, evidently knowing where this line of inquiry was leading to.

"Eh, Kazu-chan?" Ginji touched a finger to his lips as he tried to remember the old days. "I knew he was a great fighter and the highly respected leader of Fuuga. I also recall not wanting to fight him -even though he was kicking my butt and his strings hurt a lot…"

"- And why is that?" Ban prodded, choking back a laugh.

"Come on. Enough. Can't you see he answered the question already?" Kazuki futilely wrangled. Shido threw out an outstretched hand to silence him.

"Because…" Even in the darkness, the gang could feel and see the radiant aura emanating from Ginji's crimson cheeks. "… because, I thought he was a girl. Actually, I thought she… er… he… uh, was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen in Mugenjou."

"Wah! I bet instead of wanting to fight, you wanted to ask her... ahem... _him _out instead, ne?" Ban teased.

"Ugh!" Kazuki gasped as he shook his head woefully and buried his face in his hand. To have his Thunder Emperor say this about him; he wanted to die right there and then. Or at least chop off his wondrous locks. He suddenly imagined how he would look with a crew cut.

"And when you introduced me to Jubei-san, I thought he was your boyfriend or something 'cause he was so protective. I was kinda jealous hehehe…" Ginji's pure, unabashed honesty came gushing out. "Boy, did I feel foolish when he mentioned you were the _Prince_ of Battle Terror. Oops."

The former Raitei gently tried to catch his ex-lieutenant's concealed eyes. "I'm sorry, Kazu-chan, for once thinking that way about you."

Kazuki peeked over the tips of his dextrous fingers. Pulling them down with a hopeless sigh, he smiled weakly. "It's all right. Nothing to apologise for, Ginji-san." He then transferred his ire towards the snickering dark-haired recovery agents. "As for you two, it's nice to see you _bonding_ at my expense."

Shido and Ban simultaneously stopped laughing. Briefly exchanging mortified stares, they realised what had just happened. "Hmph!" they dueted, thumbing their noses at each other.

"Me! Me! Me! My turn!" Ginji hopped in his seat, the moon reflecting in the shiny brown pools of his large eyes. "Ban-chan! 'Truth or Dare'?"

"Truth," he mumbled, unconcerned the doofus would pose him a profound, soul-searching, mind-blowing question. Besides, Ginji already knew everything he needed to know about him - without actually knowing. He just did, as though they were each other's subconscious.

Answering Ginji's questions was just like admitting the truth to himself. So, he wondered just what it was the dork had to know.

Kazuki and Shido held their breaths in anticipation of Ginji causing a dent in the enigmatic snake man's hard, scaly shell. But typically, Ginji's question was as uncomplicated and simple as he was.

"_Ban-chan, are you still mad at me?"_

Ban tilted his head quizzically and let the anxious blond stew for a couple of seconds longer.

"Because if you want, I can try to dive down and get back the arms. And the Aphrodite, too," Ginji pleaded. "I… I just don't want you to be mad anymore."

Inside, Ban was smiling a mile-wide, thousand-kilowatt smile. He rapped on his best friend's forehead. "Moron! That's seventy, a hundred metres below. You want to be crushed like a tinned sardine?"

"So, you're not angry?" Ginji beamed, matching the hidden smile watt-for-watt.

"Nah." He waved and simpered casually. "Dammit, you could've waited before you ditched the stuff, you know. Didn't you see I was about to toss the clown's ass overboard? That's 150 pounds of dead weight right there…"

"Yay! Ban-chan's not angry! Ban-chan's not angry!" Ginji turned chibi, did a flying leap, whipped out his paper fans and jitterbugged on top of Ban's head (Really, someone should've asked where the heck Ginji kept hiding those fans, especially he being in those teeny, tiny tare boxers).

"The hair, twerp! The hair!" Ban howled, trying to untangle the runt from his spikes.

Shido and Kazuki couldn't help but offer small smiles. At least, things were now (slightly) back to normal.

Awakened by the carousing, Emishi yawned loudly from his sleeping perch. "That was a nice nap." Sitting up and stretching out, the hapless, left-out comedian asked,

"So. Did I miss anything?"

**-o-**

"_Sngork! Sngork!_ Ahhh… Natsumi-chan… Yes, I'd love to taste your… muffins." Ginji snored and drooled blissfully in his sleep as he lay sprawled comfortably on the bow. _"Sngooorrrrkkk…"_

"Muffins," Emishi chuckled, trying to figure out how to work that into his comedy skit.

Kazuki tapped Ban on the shoulder. "Has Ginji-san always been like this?" He scrunched his pert nose curiously. "I don't ever recall him talking in his sleep in Mugenjou."

"Aa. I'm pretty sure even his wet dreams are of food," Ban quipped. He stood pensively on the stern with hands on hips. The dark lashes of the emerging sun's eye awashed the sky in a melancholic bluish-gray haze, like diluted India ink spilled on canvas. Ban stared off in the near distance, in the approximate location where the arms were now sunk.

"Ginji has a point," the Jagan master acknowledged. "I don't see why we can't at least _try_ to get at those arms. We're stuck here for God knows how long, so what have we got to lose?"

"Um, your life, perhaps?" Kazuki deadpanned. He, too, began surveying the calmly undulating waves. "And just how do you intend to retrieve those arms without scuba diving equipment, pray tell?"

Ban and Shido traded furtive sideways glances. "Hey, I didn't say anything," the doubtful Beastmaster muttered.

"- And I'm not asking," Ban huffed.

The string-style expert finally got up to speed. "When will you two ever have a normal, civilised discussion that doesn't have to end in World War Three?" He tsk-tsked exasperatedly.

"Fine. Let me translate. You, Mido-kun, want Shido-san to use his Beast Mimicry to dive down and recover the items; while you, Shido-san, are struggling with your pride on whether or not you should name him a price. Am I correct?"

The two _dakkanya_ threw the perceptive informant sheepish pouts. "Wrong, Thread Spool. Even if I believed monkey boy here could skin-dive that deep - _which I don't_ - he'd be the last person the Get Backers would ask a favour from," Ban fumed defensively.

"- And even if I wanted to dive - _which I easily could_ - why the hell should I care?" Shido refuted.

" - And I don't see why any of us has to dive when Shido-kun can just call for a sea creature to go down and get the arms for us," Emishi suggested. He winked at his partner.

Silence.

"Hmmm…" Shido nodded.

An all too temporary moment of quiet, punctuated by Ginji's snoring, blessed the accursed boat.

Ban finally, torturously, relented. "I suppose that could work," he muffle-mumbled.

"Say again? I couldn't hear you," the Beastmaster smirked, a hand funnelled to his ear.

"I said that could work, jackass!" Ban barked into Shido's self-satisfied face. "Hypothetically speaking, what shit might this cost us?"

Shido ruffled his wild shock of jet-black hair. "Eh, I'm thinking 72,500 yen per arm is fair, don't you agree?"

"WHAT? You want me to pay 125 grand for you to _whistle_?"

"Oi. Don't forget, because of you guys we lost our half-million payoff," Emishi reminded.

"And you still owe me for the lift," Kazuki interjected. "This isn't a bad deal."

The gloating grin on Shido's face persisted. "Come on, sea-urchin head. Twenty-five percent is reasonable considering Miss Hevn's intermediary fee is twenty-eight…"

"This is highway rob - !" Ban screeched to a stop and did a double take.

"Wait a minute… Did you say 'twenty-eight percent'?" One-by-one, veins began popping out of his forehead, making it look like a Tokyo subway map.

"Yeah. Why? Isn't that her standard asking - "

"The tramp gave you a TWO-PERCENT DISCOUNT! Fuck! Why that - " Every possible slang for the word 'prostitute' came sludging out of Ban's mouth as he desperately searched the cabin for something to Snake Bite. He eventually found one, tearing it into pieces.

"Hey! That's my shirt!" Emishi cried.

The three former Volts members held on tight as they witnessed the one-man tornado attempt to deep-six the boat.

"Lighten up. With your dumb luck with money, that two-percent is probably a hazard insurance of some sort," Kazuki deduced, his hands firmly grappled to the rails.

"So, what'll it be, Mido?" the Beastmaster reiterated.

Ban chucked what was left of Emishi's dress shirt into the ocean and exhaled deeply. "Yeah. Okay. Whatever." He couldn't believe the Get Backers' luck had run so bad that they were starting to lose _non-existent_ money as well.

Shido clapped his hands once. "All right, then. We'll start at daybreak."

**-o-**

_(to be continued)_

**-o-**

* * *

**(1), (2) - **_"Endless Love" _by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross, and _"My Heart Will Go On"_ by Celine Dion. Lyrics are the property of their respective authors, artists, and labels. All lyrics provided are for entertainment purposes and personal use only. 

Yeccch. I can't believe I included these lyrics in my fic. Must remind self: This is a parody, this is a parody, this is a parody… :D


	3. Up in Arms

"**Rock the Boat"**

**Disclaimer : **Alas, this is a story that was never meant to be in canon – only in the cesspools of my mind. :D

(About time, too, 'cause my brain needs some serious spring cleaning. :p)

Thanks for bearing with me. Hope you enjoyed the boat ride. Cheers!

* * *

_**Part Three : Up in Arms (and other nasty stuff)**_

It was a beautiful day. Well, as beautiful as it could be for five saps stranded in the middle of the ocean, anyway. Except for a few smiling wisps of cirrus clouds floating by, the wide open sky hung infinite and clear; and the sun began to trek its eons-worn path through the sail of china-blue with its rays growing in strength as it rose in the east and beat down on the boat bright and warm like the gold of Ginji's hair.

"First thing I do when we get home is to get a deep-conditioning treatment," Kazuki joked as he pulled his hair up into a lady-like bee-hive. "This heat and sea air is splitting my ends."

Emishi and Ginji waited like excited children as they sat cross-legged on the deck while Kazuki used a koto string to gut and fillet a small yellowfin tuna they just caught.

"Isn't this great?" Ginji gushed, gleefully clapping his hands at the sashimi breakfast before them. "A picnic on a boat on a sunny day. What more could we ask for?"

"Gasoline would be nice," Ban snorted sarcastically.

"Wish we had some soy sauce, too," Emishi wistfully added as he popped a slice into his mouth.

The Fuuchouin heir finished dicing the fish and neatly arranged the pieces on the bench. He smiled. "Now, don't eat too much or else we'll get thirstier than we need to be."

"Shido-kun, aren't you going to eat?" the whip expert asked.

The Beastmaster glowered and snidely remarked, "No. I've decided from now on I'm only going to eat inanimate objects. Like rocks. "

Meanwhile, Ban lugged the water container over to the opposite bench, sat down and poured himself a drink into the jug's cap. "No sign of your lackeys, eh? Bet they wised up and decided to quit doing all your dirty work _pro bono_, you parasite."

"Shut your nagging trap, bastard," Shido bristled. He'd been leaning his head close to the water trying to detect subsonic signals in response to his calls. So far, it seemed no animal large enough to carry out the task had heard his request. "My beast whistle has a range of about two kilometers; more if the vibrations echo through the water and air. It's not like I have every creature in the Pacific at my beck and call. I'm not Aquaman."

"You got that right." Ban stretched out leisurely, bathing in the morning sun like a snake warming up his cold blood. "Aquaman can actually, you know, swim."

"Grrrr…" Shido's hand crumpled into a tight fist. Ignoring his rival's insult, he put his thumb and forefinger to his lips and whistled again.

Ginji stood up and sighed contentedly after finishing his breakfast. As he tied his dress shirt around his head into a bandanna, Ginji thought that if it weren't for the drinking water problem, being castaway didn't seem like such a bad prospect after all. Because unlike on dry land, here he could get breakfast, lunch, _and_ dinner. Plus, he was with good friends (although amongst themselves, those 'friends' would probably beg to differ). In fact, Ginji couldn't think of anything he would really miss.

He swooned as he thought hard about it. Umm… Maybe he would miss candy, and cake, and pizza, and even Paul's coffee. Oh, and it would be nice if Hevn-san and Natsumi-chan could have joined in the fun, too.

Through heavy-lidded eyes, Ginji stared dreamily at the shining white bow and _poof!_ two girls magically appeared, sunning themselves on beach towels wearing nothing but skimpy bikinis.

"_Gin-chan…" Hevn cooed, sitting up, wildly shaking her flaxen hair and puffing out her ample chest. "Do you think this top is too small?" Her thin strip of a bandeau dipped lower… and lower… and lower…_

"G-g-gaaaahh…" Ginji slobbered.

"_Oh, Gin-chan…" Natsumi laid on her tummy with elbows propped and shapely legs swinging flirtatiously. Giggling, she turned her head and batted doe-eyes at him. "Could you please rub some suntan lotion on my back? It's so hard to reach…"_

Ginji was now slobbering _and_ panting. "Unnnhhh… Sure…" He blasted off and began clambering onto the front of the boat. A hand brusquely pulled him down by the garter of his shorts.

_SMACK!_

"Weh! Ginji! What the hell are you doing?" Ban shook his pal by the shoulders and slapped him again for good measure. "It's way too early for you to be seeing a mirage."

The daydream believer touched his stinging cheek and blinked. "I thought I saw – something." Blushing and blinking some more, Ginji veered his view out into the northern horizon and shielded his eyes from the brilliance of the sparkling ocean; the waves' crests reflecting the sunlight as though they were tipped with diamonds. And in this glitter field, he swore he saw a moving tip of dull gray.

"Look! I think something's coming!"

"Stop hallucinating!" Ban flicked Ginji's nose with his finger.

"No. Ginji-san's right," Kazuki exclaimed as he gracefully leapt on the bow and held onto the roof, looking every inch the captain of this shipwreck. Peering from his vantage point as the object drew closer at around fifteen knots, he surmised, "I think it's a dolphin."

Inwardly, what he really meant to say was '_I hope_ it's a dolphin'.

Then, the discernible outline of a dorsal fin made itself clear. However, unlike a dolphin's dorsal which was small, rubbery in appearance, and slightly curved, and which bobbed in and out of the tide as the dolphin surfaced for air; this fin was a rigid, sharp triangle with rough, serrated edges. It cruised proud and majestic like a mainsail that held a steady course towards the boat.

Five heads slowly turned in synchrony as they tracked the large, pale gray wedge go gliding alongside the craft; the distinct bullet-shaped body attached to it evident under the crystal blue water.

Emishi's sunglasses involuntarily slipped down his nose. "Uh, somebody please tell me that's not what I think it is," he gulped.

Shido reached down into the water and playfully swatted at it. "Thanks for your help, buddy. I owe you one."

"Holy crap!" Ban went ballistic as he tore at his hair. "You summoned a goddamn shark? Not a dolphin, or a whale, or a freakin' giant stingray, but a Great. White. Shark!"

"Listen, you ungrateful idiot! The dolphins are near the coast, the whales' migration is over, and this shark is the only one who answered my call!" Shido blew up in the retriever's face. "Now do you want the arms back or not?"

"Duuude… This thing's nearly as big as our boat," Emishi said, dumbfounded.

Ginji chibi-fied and babbled gibberish as he stuck to Kazuki's leg.

Dragging the _tare_ with him, Kazuki cautiously followed the shark's movements as it patrolled around the vessel like a predator honing in on its wounded prey.

"Shido-san, why is it circling us?" His normally cool, stoic tone suddenly developed a slight trill.

"Because it's waiting for my command!" The Beastmaster shouted impatiently, sounding as close to a sulky child as he ever would be. "Dammit! You think I can't do my job properly?"

Grunting and snorting madly, he posed himself like a raging bull facing up to matadors in a bullring. "You know what pisses me off? You jerks have picked on me all night. If it's not my eyebrows, it's my underwear. If it's not my socks, it's my eating habits. Well, let me remind you that of this moment, it's _my_ skills that are of some use on this crappy joyride…" Shido thumped his chest with the side of his fist (insert King Kong pun here).

"… so we either do it my way or no way, got that?"

The other four crew members sweatdropped at that sudden impassioned outburst from the beast man.

"As long as no one kicks me off _my_ boat, you guys can mutiny all you want. I'm just the driver." Kazuki threw up his hands in defeat and slumped into the captain's chair.

"Shido, I believe in you," chibi-Ginji cheered, waving his fan while still clinging to Kazuki's shin like a koala to its favorite eucalyptus branch.

"Me, too, Shido-kun!" Emishi piped-up spiritedly. "I'm your partner in crime, your comic relief, your shoulder to cry on, your…"

"Way to assert your alpha male ambitions, zoo boy," Ban heckled. Thankfully, he didn't verbalize his next comment, _'You gonna start marking the boat now?'_

"Since money is at stake here, fine, you do what you must." Ban gestured lazily with his hand. "Just keep that monster on a leash."

"Yeah, yeah." With that, Shido telepathically communicated with the shark; after which it submerged with its intimidating fin disappearing underneath the waves.

As they waited, Ginji wrapped his arms around his chest as though he were chilled. "Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?"

Kazuki cringed. When the Raitei had a feeling, it was almost always right.

**-o-**

The boys' breaths caught in unison when the familiar triangle re-emerged at last from the surf. Slowly, it bounded for the boat, and within a few meters before reaching the hull's side, its head poked out.

Everyone except Shido took a step back at the mere size of it. Scarred from years of battle and faded ash- gray with age, the shark's head was as big as a boulder. Its looks were made more menacing by the fierceness in its beady black eyes and the fact that its two rows of saw-bit teeth were dripping with the bloody remains of what the boys liked to assume was its breakfast – non-human they hoped.

"Ugly fellow, isn't he?" Emishi whispered.

"Shhhh! It might hear you!" Kazuki warned. Of course, he was aware this was a _fish_ he was referring to. But with one this huge, you can never be too sure.

Clamped in the shark's teeth was a white pulpy, shapeless mass that was quite literally dissolving before their very eyes.

"What the fuck is that?" Ban impudently asked Shido. "That sure as hell doesn't look like an arm."

Kazuki shuffled forward. "It's… It looks like a bundle of cloth or something."

"I think it's the Aphrodite," Shido inferred, staring hard at the swaddled lump. "Or what's left of it."

"Should we take it anyway?" Emishi wondered.

"Nah. Forget it. It's too degraded and impure to bring back. Besides, we should be happy to be rid of this devil drug forever," the Beastmaster contended. He waved his hand and told the shark, "No, no. This isn't it. The arms are smaller and harder."

As the great white dropped the package and dove back down again, Ban snorted, "You'd think with all the human limbs they bite off every year, they'd know the difference by now."

"Shut up! They do not!"

After a few uneasy, suspenseful minutes the shark returned, this time, bringing one of the correct targets in its mouth.

"Good!" Shido praised. "Now, carefully toss it over."

The shark obeyed as it propelled forward. Except, curiously, its movements were now highly erratic. Sloshing about and careening dizzily, it was dangerously close to a head-on collision with the side of the boat.

"Hey! What's he doing?" Ban shouted. "Tell him to watch it!"

Too late. The impact rocked the boat and the gang off their feet. Ban quickly crawled over to the side where, to his horror, found the shark reacting to its violent run-in by involuntarily biting down on its chew toy.

_CRR-UUNCH!_

"Haaa-aaacccckk!" Ban gasped as he clawed at his cheeks, not believing he just witnessed a priceless ancient treasure just get turned into a worthless toothpick. As pieces of marble and strips of cloth floated pathetically in the waves, the shark began its retreat in confusion.

"Oi! Come back here, soup stock!" Who else but the Invincible Mido Ban-sama to probably be the only person on earth who would demand that from a great white shark. Impulsively, he picked up a shoe and hurled it at the behemoth, bonking it on the head as it swam away.

"You stupid… What did you do that for?" Shido boomed, appalled most at how the hothead could've pissed-off the shark further; and least of all, that it was _his_ shoe he threw. In retaliation, Shido grabbed Ban's trousers from the railing and tossed it overboard as well.

"Gah! Why you -!" The Jagan master bent over and desperately tried to reach for his pants as they sadly drifted away with the current like a black, two-tentacle squid.

"Go after them, I dare you," Shido scoffed.

Ban actually deliberated over this for a second or two. _Shark. Pants. Shark. Pants. Shark. Pants…_

Duh.

Childishly, Ban grabbed all of the other pants hanging out to dry on the boat (since he didn't know which was Shido's he took all of them instead) and flung them out to sea. "Ha! Now we're all on the same boat!"

Kazuki frowned. "Could you please stop polluting the ocean with your clothes?"

Never minding for the moment the prospect of facing rescue without pants, he confronted the Beastmaster angrily. "Dammit, monkey trainer! Was that fish drunk or what?"

Shido was as baffled as everyone else. "I don't know what's wrong with him. He's acting strange. Something here's definitely not right."

"You don't say."

Ginji bit his nails; unconsciously taking tiny strides backwards into the more secure roofed driver's section of the boat. "Ban-chan, I think you made him mad." And then…

_THUD!_

Suddenly, the Venus de Milo's other arm landed heavily on the back of the deck – intact. The five men gasped with amazement at the white wrapped package neatly deposited on their little boat. Yet, for some instinctive reason, everyone – with the exception of Ban – backed off.

"Well, well. Looks like our honorary Get Backers sidekick has finally made the grade," Ban jeered. He moved towards the valuable object.

"Wait!" Kazuki cautioned from the farthest corner of the craft. "It could be a trap."

"Oooh. I'm so scared. What if it's rigged with a bomb?" the rogue kidded exaggeratedly. Jauntily strutting closer, Ban gazed back. "Stop being so freaking paranoid, thread spool. Humans use bait for fish, not the other way arou-"

_SPLASH!_

Just then, something that resembled a twenty-foot torpedo launched up and head-long into the boat, tilting it downwards forcefully. The heavy slam together with the wet floor caused Ban to slip and stumble onto his ass. And when the cascade of sea water at last fell, he found himself facing humungous, wide-open, razor-sharp toothed… _jaws_.

_SNAP!_ The chomping snare almost erased his face.

"Aaaaaaggghhhh!"

"Ban-chan!" Tare-Ginji screamed from atop Kazuki's head.

"Eeeee-yaaaaghhh!" With arms flailing wildly and feet sliding in all directions, Ban scooted backwards and clumsily scrambled over the benches to join the rest of the huddled – obviously more rational – group.

"I told you so!" Kazuki couldn't help but rub it in from the safety of his berth.

As the boys screamed and cursed and panicked and plain descended into utter pandemonium, the shark proceeded to swim amok; sliding down and crunching its powerful jaws into the outboard motor. Using it as a grip, he thrashed about and jostled the boat and its occupants turbulently as if it were giant maracas. Ban, Ginji, Shido, Kazuki and Emishi all clung for dear life on anything they could grab hold of: guardrails, struts, steering wheel, console, chair, cabinet handles and – each other.

"Goddammit, monkey!" Ban exclaimed as he struggled to pull himself up by scaling Emishi's leg. "Tell him to stop!"

'I can't! He's not listening to me!" Shido roared above the din of splashing water and creaking wood and fiberglass. "His signals are garbled and his mind's muddled like… like he's high or something."

"High? High, as in drugs?" Kazuki yelled incredulously with chibi-Ginji still saddled on his head. The string master's eyes bulged. "The Aphrodite!"

"He must've inhaled it, swallowed it… I'm not sure!"

"You've gotta be shitting me!" Ban spat.

Emishi groaned loudly. "Oh man! It's 'Jaws' on crack – literally!"

The _annaiya_ fell on the dashboard after a particularly nasty bump. "Mido-kun! Use your Jagan!"

"I'm all out!"

"Who's useless now?" Shido accused. He just couldn't resist.

The shark made one massive wallop to the right, and with a sickening _crrraack!_, ripped the motor and a large chunk of the stern completely off the vessel. The force swung the boat hazardously onto its side.

"Whooooaaaa!" Everybody shrieked as they were yanked to the right and piled up on top of one another.

Seconds excruciatingly seemed like hours as the hull rocked and rolled. Fortunately, as the shark and the debris pulled off, the craft righted itself back up again. The moaning clump of bodies stirred.

"Your foot is in my face!"

"Move, dammit!"

"Get your hands off my -!"

In what they all presumed was a lull in the attack, the short-winded, sweaty crew began untangling themselves from each other. The boat was taking on water slightly as it bounced up and down on the kicking- up waves, but there was no sign of a menacing fin anywhere.

"Is… is he gone?" Chibi-Ginji stammered, burying his head in Kazuki's thick bee-hive of hair.

Shido shook his head, bracing himself against the roof's edge as if in anticipation of a second assault. "He's still around… I can sense him."

"What the fuck does he want?" Ban griped petulantly. He tugged on Emishi and attempted to push him over the edge. "Yo, sashimi-for-brains! You hungry? Here, take this clown. I'm sure he tastes like chicken!"

"Heh! How would you know I taste like chicken?" Emishi protested as he elbowed Ban away and embraced the roof support beams.

"I think he's ticked off at you, snake bastard," the Beastmaster furiously snorted. "Can't say I blame him…"

Suddenly…

_SWOOSH!_

"Oh my God!" Kazuki shrieked.

Without warning, the great white torpedoed out of the ocean and through the jagged gap in the boat, landing half of its twenty-foot span into the cabin as its jaws yawned open.

"Yaaaaaagggghhhh!"

The boys never wanted so much in their lives to melt into that poor wooden dashboard as they did then, what with that awful, stinking trap ready to swallow them whole. Then, almost immediately, the wretched, battered boat began bearing the brunt of the killer shark's roughly five thousand pounds and it started to pitch backward violently at a forty-five degree angle.

"We're going under!" Shido yelled.

"Waaaaaaahhhhhh!"

Now, the crew was literally hanging on - half dangling in the air and half fused to the furnishings. No one dared to let go lest he fall into the gaping mouth of that living wood-chipper.

_(sad sound of violins drifting from - somewhere)_

As their whole lives flashed before their eyes and thoughts of regrets and lost hopes such as _"I didn't even get to say 'I love you'"_ and _"Shit! I'm going to die a virgin!"_ filled their minds; subconsciously, the boys' minds were a tad less sentimental:

_Tare-Ginji – (swinging by the ends of Rapunzel's… er… Kazuki's long locks, desperately trying to crawl back up)_ "Why does Kazu-chan's hair have to be so soft, and shiny, and slippery, and… _sniff_… Gee, his hair smells terrific!"

_Kazuki –_ _(letting the chibi-formerly-known-as-Raitei use his hair as a rappelling rope)_ "For Ginji-san… For Ginji-san… Oww!... For Ginji-san… Ow! Ow!"

_Shido – (looking very sheepish)_ "No way that shark's gonna eat me! Dammit! I'm the Beastmaster, for crying out loud! Beast. Master. M-A-S-T-E-R…"

_Ban – (feeling pissed, though strangely, flattered)_ "Who the hell has got his arm hooked around mine? Must be yarn ball. He's such a girl hehehehe…"

_Emishi – (imagining himself as that anorexic diva singing the theme song of a certain mawkish, highly over-rated Academy Award-winning boat movie. Yes, THAT one)_ "Near… far… wherever you are…" _(Then imagines said diva slipping off the ship and falling on a giant propeller with a loud THUNK!)_

"I hate to interrupt your doomsday reveries, but any bright ideas?" Anyone?" Ban finally snipped at the top of his lungs.

"I think I can block us off at least." Kazuki held fast to the steering wheel with one arm. "I hope this works. Hang on, Ginji-san!"

With his free hand, the Fuuchouinryu expert untied a bell from his hair and began harnessing himself to the driver's seat. Adequately secured, Kazuki wove a crude net between the cabin and the shark and the front of the boat (crude, because even for Kazuki, neat workmanship is the least of your worries when Megalodon is in your face). That done, the rest of the gang deposited themselves on this makeshift hammock.

But that still didn't solve the problem of the pesky shark trying to turn their boat into a five-man coffin.

"Ginji! Go out and zap that sonofabitch!" Ban ordered.

The half-naked chibi blond stuck stubbornly to the net like a fat grub on a spider web. "Do I have to? Alone?" He whined. "Who's gonna hold me?"

"Duh, no one? Not while you're blasting half-a-million volts of electricity, dummy!"

"Here! We can use this!" Emishi sprang out his whip from inside his shorts (no, not _that _whip, the other one).

"Good," Ban said. Picking up his partner by the scruff of his neck, he efficiently snuck him through the weave of the barrier.

"Eep!" Ginji squeaked as the shark eyed him as though he were the last remaining sushi roll. Reverting back to his normal form, Ginji nervously stood still while Ban kept him from sliding into the animal's jaws and Emishi tied the Loulan Dancing Whip around his waist.

Fastening the end to the railing on the side of the boat, Emishi tightened the slack and checked with his former leader. "You okay, Ginji-han?"

"Yup!" he answered as he started consolidating his energy. "You guys clear from any metals and such?"

"Clear!"

"All right! Here goes!" Ginji shot out both arms. "Raaaa –aaaggghhhh!"

The other four men shielded their eyes as the boat was briefly enveloped in a lightning storm of brilliant neon green. Their skin prickled with charged ions. Their hair stood on end.

With a magnificent static wind swirling around him, Ginji concentrated a single energy burst on the shark's snout, hoping 500,000 volts of electricity was enough to knock it out. And in mere seconds, it was all over, the electric haze dissipating as soon as it begun.

Quietly, the kayoed shark flinched once or twice before skidding tail-first back into the water. As it did, it brought the boat listing almost a full ninety degrees before the creature fully submersed and the crippled boat leveled out with a great splash.

But as the fish sank, so too did the Venus de Milo's remaining arm, which was tugged under and devoured by the sea once again.

For sure this time.

The boys took the opportunity to catch their breaths. One could even think the boat was grateful that its occupants managed to shut up for once.

Kazuki finally broke the peace. "That didn't work out well at all, did it?" He currently looked like a hostage strapped to a chair.

"You and your big mouth, Joker. This is all your fault." Shido collapsed on the deck.

"Huh? What did I do?" Emishi's eyes darted around cluelessly.

Huffing and puffing, Ginji relaxed into the net, and everyone touching it received an intense shock. _Zzzpt!_

"Aaahhh! Ginji!" Ban howled as his mahogany hair sprouted into its usual sea-urchin spikes.

"Oops. Sorry," he chuckled while scooting away and releasing himself from the restraints of Emishi's whip. Exhaustedly, he glanced at Shido through the criss-cross of strings. "So, is it all over, Shido?" I hope I didn't kill him - the shark, I mean. Poor guy. It wasn't his fault…"

The Beastmaster untied his bandanna and wiped the sweat that was dripping like a faucet around his face. "Don't worry. He's unconscious but breathing. He'll probably wake up in an hour or so with amnesia and a bad hangover."

"I guess even animals should say 'no' to drugs, eh?" Emishi quipped as he fanned himself with his hand.

Sluggishly, Kazuki staggered to his feet. With a few flicks of his wrist, he spliced away the trusses of the thread shield and warily stepped into the open cabin area. Sighing dramatically, he surveyed the damage on the craft – the entire stern was gone, the benches were split and off their hinges, and clothes and shoes (or what was left of them) were scattered everywhere. Thank goodness for boat rental insurance, the string master thought. Although putting in a claim for a drug-deranged twenty-foot shark attack was going to be a tough sell.

"Too bad you couldn't get back the arms – again." Kazuki remarked, gazing down at Ban who sat hugging knees to his chest and no doubt, woefully mourning the loss of money – again.

"Curious, weren't you?" Ban dryly pointed out. "About what they looked like."

"The arms?" The long-haired informant gave a faint smile. "Can't say I wasn't."

"Just like art, huh? Having the whole picture right in front of you, yet with the answers, the true meaning; lying just beyond reach," he brooded wistfully.

"Maybe that's the whole point. That we're not supposed to know," Kazuki shrugged.

" – And keeping us guessing, wondering about the 'what if's'. I'd say that's what makes the Venus de Milo – and life itself – an intriguing work of art, don't you think?"

Basking in the much-welcomed calm, Ban and Kazuki regarded each other in understanding and silently agreed on their shared epiphany.

With the tranquil moment passing, the boat driver turned his sights back to the disaster area and continued to scour the vessel meticulously; noting that there was a conspicuous absence of something. Searching around further, he realized what it was.

"Hey. Where's our water?" Kazuki's eyes were suddenly drawn to a spot in the distance where a small patch of orange was floundering its way to freedom.

"Guys!"

No response.

"Hey guys! Our water is escaping!"

"What?" Shido stood up.

"Somebody swim after it before it floats too far away!" Captain Kazuki commanded to his rag-tag crew of buccaneers. "We did not survive a freak attack from a man-eating shark just to die from dehydration later!"

Shido made a disgusted face. "Well, who's the idiot who put the water in that corner in the first place?" he demanded.

Four pairs of eyes settled on a prickly brown head.

"Heh! How was I to know we were gonna be boarded by 'Jaws'?" Ban complained. He then pointed to the slash wound on his shoulder. "Plus, I'm bleeding."

Actually, it was healing up pretty well.

"Oh, shut up!" Shido bellowed as he pulled the smaller man to his feet. "There aren't anymore sharks around, I swear."

Ban shook his rival off. "Like I would trust you, you amateur animal trainer."

"What's the big deal, anyway?" Kazuki queried, a wee glint of mischief twinkling in his eye. Sure, he could probably use his strings to fetch the container if he tried. But where was the fun in that? "A shark's jaws exert about sixty kilograms in its bite. Yours is _two hundred_. So, no problem, right?"

"Excuse me, but I don't envision myself arm wrestling with a shark's mouth, thank you very much," the fighting genius declared. He stomped his foot peevishly. "All right, all right! I'll get the damn water if only to prove that, unlike you babies, I am not a wuss."

**-o-**

Mido "I am not a wuss" Ban took his sweet time prowling up to the gnawed-off edge of the boat, surreptitiously spying on all sides and watching out for any vague silhouettes of gray.

"_Dun-dun…"_

"Hurry up!" Shido nagged.

"_Dun-dun…"_

Ban let the pleasant sea breeze cool him off for a while as he stood over the threshold. Hesitating, he leaned forward and momentarily admired his distorted reflection in the oscillating mirrored surface of blue. _Biding my time… no rush…_ he thought.

"_Dun-dun-dun…"_

Skittishly, the retrieval agent dipped his toe into the vast cauldron; then, with bated breath, his whole foot… then his leg…

"_Dundundundundundundundundundun_… Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water…"

"SHUT UP, Joker! You're not helping!" Ban screeched as he agitatedly snatched his leg away, extremely unappreciative of the fact his deep-sea foray was being scored by the bloody theme song to _"Jaws"_.

Finally, twisting the cricks out of his neck muscles and joints, Ban inhaled heavily and made the plunge.

He popped his head out of the surf to the blinding rays of the sun striking his eyes and realized that he missed his violet specs terribly. Targeting the cause of his troubles bobbing some fifty meters ahead, Ban swam towards it using long, deliberate strokes; sacrificing speed for stealth knowing full well there was a doped-up killer shark dozing somewhere beneath him.

Despite the assignment turning into crap, Ban didn't see why he shouldn't enjoy this idyllic swim, even if for just a short moment. He relished the luxuriant caress of the lukewarm tropical waves as he ploughed right through them and thought if it weren't for the shark, the smallness of the boat, the food-water-gasoline problem, and the rotten company; this could've been a nice Okinawan swimming trip. _But nooooo…_ Typical of 99.9 percent of all Get Backers jobs, this, too, had to be a monumental, catastrophic screw-up.

"Tch!" Immediately, Ban's blissful fancies evaporated, replaced by more grumpiness and incessant cursing. Reaching the orange container, he lugged it behind him like a floatation device as he kicked and paddled his way back to the boat.

Surely, after being stranded in the middle of the ocean and being attacked in one way or another by Akabane, Miroku, the Bald Brothers, Hera, octopi, a giant squid, a great white shark, monkey trainer, and – what the hell – the vocal butcherings of Emishi; it just _had _to be smooth sailing from here on end, right?

Ban and his precious optimism. When would he ever learn?

**-o-**

Ban continued rambling off every profanity he could think of (and this being Ban, there were hundreds - in a dozen or so languages) as he approached the paralyzed dingy.

"Hey, Ban-chan! How's the water?" Ginji shouted.

"Perfect," his partner drolly replied. But no sooner had he said that, he felt a sharp prick on his thigh.

"ULP!" Ban froze in the water with bewilderment. Then, his eyes went wide with shock as a burning sensation began spreading up and down his leg. "GAAAAHHH!"

"Ban-chan!" Ginji screamed as he saw his best friend thrash about wildly in the surf. He turned his terror-stricken face to his companions. "Oh no! The shark's got Ban-chan!"

"Impossible!" Shido exclaimed. He was absolutely positive there were no dangerous predators in the area.

"Hold on! I'll save you!" Impulsively and without regard for his own safety, Ginji dove right in. Admittedly, the former Thunder Emperor was not a strong swimmer, having spent most of his life in the slums of Lower Town, which unfortunately, did not even have a local chapter of the YMCA. Yet, hooking his left arm across his partner's back and under his arms, Ginji kicked at the water fiercely; somehow managing to drag and hoist Ban onto the deck in record time – where he promptly fell flat on his face.

"Owww!" Ban gave out a muffled moan.

Then Ginji distractedly lobbed the water jug back into the cabin where, naturally, it bounced off Ban's head.

_BOMP!_

"Shit!"

The ex-Volts members, expecting to see the Jagan master sporting a dreadful bloodied stump, instead found him with all limbs intact, with no visible injuries apparent.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" Shido lashed out; trying to hide the tiniest bit of concern he had behind the gruff tone.

Kazuki and Emishi helped Ban over to the broken bench facing the boat's front. "Something bit me and now my leg hurts like hell!"

The four boys' scrutiny traveled the length of Ban's legs, noticing nothing but sparse leg hair and, strangely enough, a cute little boo-boo on his knee. At last, Ban stopped his whining long enough to realize where the pain was centered on and delicately pulled up the left cuff of his shorts.

"Whoa!" Emishi turned away with a grimace. "That's not right!"

Lo and behold, stuck to Ban's inner thigh was a large jellyfish, its tentacles skulking precariously close to his –

"Damn! How in the world did it swim up there?" Shido leaned in for a closer inspection.

"Maybe it wants to have sex with me. How the hell should I know?" Ban yelled sarcastically.

"That's why it's advisable to wear a wetsuit or snug swimwear when swimming in open seas," Kazuki lectured.

"Thanks. I'll remember that the next time I decide to shipwreck myself on the ocean!"

Kazuki crouched down and tried to peep further up the _dakkanya's_ boxers – on a purely professional level, of course – studying the jellyfish like a scientist observing a mutated lab experiment gone horribly wrong. "Seeing as you can move your legs and that you're obviously breathing normally, at least we can safely say this isn't a deadly specie like the box jellyfish."

"Of course I knew that, string bean. But that doesn't change the fact that this thing is killing me!"

"I think if you don't move, it won't sting any further," he suggested.

_Aiiii-yeee!_ Ban thought he felt a tentacle make a move on _his_ tentacle. "Shit! I need to get this fucker off me RIGHT NOW!"

He turned to the Beastmaster. "Zoo boy, can't you communicate at all with this plastic bag?"

Shido curled his lip. "You do know this is a brainless, primitive creature, don't you?"

"Exactly. And your point is?" Ban snorted. "You're useless, I tell you. Useless!"

Shido gritted his teeth and folded his arms tightly. "Hmph! Be thankful I can't talk to it, or else I'd tell it to sting you where it hurts most, numbnuts!"

Blue eyes locked on to the other Volts.

"What do you expect me to do, whip it off your leg? Uh, I don't think so," Emishi rejected outright.

"- And I suppose you want me to wrap it in string and tie a nice, big bow around it, right?" Kazuki raised an amused eyebrow. "Sorry, can't help you there."

One by one, Ban looked Shido, Kazuki, and Emishi in the eye. "All right, if none of you intend to do anything, then that's fine. Now if you don't mind…" Nuclear meltdown.

" … WILL YOU STOP STARING AT MY CROTCH!"

Startled, all three jumped back like scalded cats.

"Oi, Ginji! Show these good-for-nothing morons why you were their boss and lend me a hand here!"

The blond bit his knuckles, increasingly skeptical of what 'lending a hand' entailed exactly. "Uh… Can't you use your Snake Bite or something?'

"No, dummy! Because the second I Snake Bite it, it will bite my snake, if you catch my drift," he bewailed, desperately trying to avoid squashing the gelatinous blob between his thighs.

"So you want me to electrocute it?"

"Fry it! Broil it! Barbecue it! I don't care! Just do something!" Ban almost leapt up, dangerously close to getting the kind of swelling he _did not_ want going on in his pants.

Kazuki, curious as ever, put his hands on his knees and stooped forward. "He has a point, Ginji-san. Maybe if you kill it first, the jellyfish will be easier to lift off."

Ginji showed his misgivings about the whole thing by making pathetic whimpering sounds in his throat. Timidly, he made small steps closer to his suffering partner. "All right, if you say so," Ginji complied.

Kneeling down, the blond poised his trembling hand above Ban's lap. The Jagan master's eyes grew large with alarm.

"Hey! These are sensitive goods we're dealing with, so quit shaking!" Ban gave Ginji's hand a hard warning grip. Releasing it, he growled, "Now stick it up there and get this over with!"

It wasn't quite the kind of reassurance Ginji was looking for, but hey.

Meanwhile, the schadenfreudes watched intently with an expression that could only be described as a mix of pity and indigestion. They knew it was rude to ogle like this, but like seeing a twenty-car pile-up steaming on a freeway, it was just too damn hard to tear their fascinated eyes away.

Ginji steadied his right wrist with his left hand. With his eye nervously twitching, he took a deep breath and then carefully probed his fingers over Ban's thigh, then up into the sleeve of his shorts; slowly gliding inch by inch, one… two… three inches in… until he barely touched something soft, slippery and wet.

_ZZZZT!_

"Yeee-aaaghhh!" Ban gasped as his eyes rolled back into his head and his whole body convulsed. After allowing a few seconds for the spasms to fade, he quickly regained his faculties and roughly shoved Ginji's hand away.

"Goddammit Ginji! Ease up on the power, will ya? We're not roasting marshmallows and wieners over a campfire here!"

Crowding beside Ban for a better view, Shido and Emishi smothered loud, hacking coughs and snorts.

Ginji dejectedly sat sprawled out on the deck and tangled his fingers into his messy mop. "Sorry, Ban-chan. I'll be gentle this time. But I'm afraid I can't really see what I'm…"

"Aw, geez!" Ban groaned, instantly knowing there was no choice on what he had to do. Irritably, he gestured to the three Volts underlings. "You! To the front! And don't look back!"

Shido balled his fists and made a move to lunge. "Hey! How dare you order us like –"

From his position on the floor, Ginji flashed his former troop a beseeching look that came straight from the liquid depths of his soul. And almost as if repossessed by the same magnetic spell that bound them to their Emperor during the Volts Era; Kazuki, Shido and Emishi obeyed; wordlessly stepping away, turning, and casting their sights out the windshield.

Ginji smiled his gratitude and reverted his attention back to his partner. "Okay, wha –"

_RIIIIIPP!_

"Ban-chan!"

Unexpectedly, the man with the two hundred kilogram Snake Bite rashly tore open his plaid boxers and let the two halves flutter limply to the sides of his legs. Surely he had no choice. He couldn't have stood up and slid his shorts off lest one false move made the jellyfish sting again. Already, a tentacle had managed to slither around his, ahem… Anyhow, this way, Ginji now had free access to zap away at that sucker.

Except…

Ban realized a second too late that he was trouser-less, and what's more, he had tossed away his crewmates' trousers into the sea as well.

So now, to his great chagrin, he faced the hideous inevitability of co-habiting with these guys for a few days and going back to the mainland without wearing any trousers – and underpants.

The Invincible Mido Ban-sama. Butt nekkid.

_Yikes!_ This was a travesty, he deplored. And definitely not part of the plan. Briefly, he wondered if thread spool could be persuaded to use his strings to mend his shorts for him.

As if.

Oh, what the heck. He figured he could worry about fashioning a makeshift diaper or something later, _after _getting that glob of gelatin off of his lap first.

Ginji was aghast; himself swiveling his head away and ruddied from the neck up to the tips of his ears. "Ban-chan! What did you do that for?"

"So you'd quit making a sizzling plate out of my privates, dumbass!"

Kazuki tried eavesdropping from the corner of his eye – and regretted it immediately. "My goodness," he murmured and screened his nauseated gaze.

To which Shido and Emishi twisted their heads over their shoulders.

"Holy shit." Shido jerked away and shuddered.

"Eyes to the front, dammit!" Ban shrieked in a strangely high-pitched voice.

"Gladly," Emishi muttered. Instinctively, he clamped his thighs together.

"Ban-chan…" Ginji said unhappily, still keeping his eyes averted.

"For chrissakes!" Ban hissed through clenched teeth. He then hushed his tone. "It's not like you haven't seen me naked in the hot springs or the public baths and such."

"Yeah, but not in front of… you know… and not… " Teary brown eyes were glued to the Volts backs while Ginji struggled for the appropriate words. "… this near."

"I'm not asking you to touch anything."

"I know, but… this is too weird… What if… What if you just guide my hand while I close my eyes?" he hopefully suggested.

"No way am I holding your hand while you're shooting off, you electric eel!" Ban was adamant.

Ginji wretchedly sighed and returned to his best friend. Staring at Ban sympathetically, he knew there was no point in holding it off any longer. Besides, how could he bear not to offer Ban some relief seeing him writhing restlessly like that? That's what friends were for, right?

The blond retrieval agent knelt down and thrust his hand. "Just… just tell me to stop if I start hurting you, okay?" He voiced out his concern.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Ban impatiently said. "Now hurry up! I can't take it anymore!"

Ginji carefully hovered his fingers over the cold, clammy, flaccid creature; and with a soft buzz, _zzzpt._

The Get Backers paused and silently waited – for something. Not sure what exactly.

"Did you feel something?"

"No. Do it again."

He obliged, then pulled back.

"Don't tell me it's still alive." Ginji sounded and looked more miserable by the second.

"I don't know! But why is it still… sucking?"

Meanwhile, at the front of the boat, Shido and Emishi's initial revulsion had turned into highly amused fits of stifled laughter – like giggling school girls leering at a dirty beefcake magazine.

"That last one sounded so wrong," Emishi said through gagging breaths, chuckles rumbling in his throat.

"Guys, this isn't supposed to be funny," Kazuki admonished, albeit half-heartedly as he covered his mouth and attempted desperately to keep a straight face.

Ginji wrung his fists in frustration. "Ban-chan, I'm going to try to use an ultra high frequency ray on it," he decided.

Ban's eyes popped out of their sockets as his hands blanketed his lap. "_Microwave?_ Are you insane? You wanna sterilize me?"

"It's the only way I can think of without shocking you. Trust me, I know what I'm doing." Or so he tried to convince himself.

"Shit, Ginji! If one day I find out I'm shooting blanks, I swear I'm gonna –"

Ban's rant was interrupted by a gentle humming noise as an invisible but heavy pulse irradiated into the flesh of the limp mass.

The Jagan master relaxed somewhat. "Yes. Yes. I think something's happening." He stared raptly at his groin with an interest that was way beyond normal.

Encouraged further by the progress they were making, Ginji enthusiastically put a bit more juice into it.

But then, the thing on Ban's loins grew hotter. Too hot. "Ginji. I… I think… ah… that's enough… Ginji…" he stammered, helpless to do anything in his position.

Suddenly, it quivered and began doubling in size; coming close to reaching boiling point as its insides rushed through every vein and artery, straining for release against the mounting pressure. It throbbed… It burned… Finally, it…

"Ginji! STOP!"

_SPLAT!_

**-o-**

For a few agonizing seconds, the scene was mute. The last thing anyone remembered hearing was a grossly slick, squishy sound of goop landing everywhere.

With big brown eyes petrified in place and lower lip trembling, Ginji dazedly reached up and lightly wiped his cheek, watching flabbergasted as an unrecognizable mix of gunk and slime dribbled down his fingers.

"Uunnnnhhh…" Ban moaned. His shell-shocked gaze roved down to the exploded mess slobbered over his lap. Somewhere, underneath that spill of seafood chowder, Ban, thankfully, could still feel his plumbing was all there. Well, at least he _thought_ he could feel them; praying fervently it wasn't like some sort of phantom limb syndrome **(1), **except instead of limbs, it was his...

"Um… You have a tissue or a handkerchief or something?" Ban whispered to his catatonic partner. Never had he wanted a cigarette as badly as he did then.

Zombie-like, Ginji slipped his shirt-bandanna off his hair and held it out to him slowly.

Ban squinted with disdain before grabbing the rag. " – and for God's sake, Ginji, clean your face! You look ridiculous."

Shido couldn't take it any longer and erupted into a great, booming guffaw. He didn't care what Ban thought, he sure wasn't going to miss this freak show for the world.

Whirling around to face the Get Backers, he started to shout, "What the hell are you two do - ?"

The Beastmaster was immediately struck dumb – his silence as abrupt as an asteroid falling on his big head.

First, he was hit by the appalling sight of that sushi carnage splattered all over the Get Backers and the boat; second – and most shocking of all – was the fact that, miraculously…

Rescue had arrived.

A deafening air-horn blew to the tune of "La Cucuracha" as the welcoming sound of chugging engines drew near. Apparently, with all the whining, bickering, shouting, cursing, fidgeting, fretting, panicking, and giggling; no one, absolutely no one, noticed the medium-sized commercial fishing vessel gradually headed their way.

Kazuki and Emishi turned as well, suddenly rendered speechless with surprise that rescue had come so soon - and under these not-so-ideal circumstances.

The trawler slowed to a creep as the driver cut the noisy motors, finally parking a few meters beside the boys' boat.

"Ahoy! You boys need any help there?" A middle-aged fisherman wearing a trucker hat and wife-beaters called out. "We saw a bright green flash coming from this area and thought we'd check it out. Is everything okay?"

Another fisherman, whose eyes were drawn to the lithe, long-haired _annaiya_; asked concernedly, "Miss, are you sure these men aren't bothering you?"

Kazuki blinked.

Emishi wiped, and re-wiped his pink sunglasses on his shorts.

Shido groaned and pulled his bandanna over his eyes.

"Kaneshiro-san, why have we stopped?" A distinct, elegant, satin-smooth drawl wafted out of the vessel's cabin.

Ginji's ears pinged.

And in an instant, a tall figure shrouded in black perched on the ship's bow, resembling a dark vulture waiting starkly against the vivid blue sky; his open coat (this was Okinawa in summer, after all) flapping around him in the sea breeze like spread wings.

"My, my. What a pleasant surprise. Fancy meeting you boys here." A cold chuckle. A tip of a hat.

Ginji, slimy baby face and all, pivoted on his knees towards that blood-curdling voice.

"A-A-A-Akabane-san?"

"Ah, Ginji-kun. I didn't recognize you looking like that." Akabane smiled.

"Ai-yaaah…" Ginji fluttered his eyelids a few times before woozily collapsing to his side in a dead faint…

_Plop!_

… revealing at last to a stunned fishing crew, Ban, in all his eye-popping, jellyfish-carcass wearing, buck-naked glory.

_Shii-iing!_ Twin glints reflected from the gleam of a raised scalpel and a mischievous purple eye. He may have lost the battle on Warship Isle, but he _definitely_ won the war. Jackal cheerily chirped.

"Looks like you need a doctor."

**-o-**

**The End**

**-o-**

* * *

**A/N: **"Endless Love," "My Heart Will Go On," and the "Jaws Theme Song" - together. That would be one freaky-ass soundtrack. :D 

**(1) **A play on "Phantom Limb Syndrome" that affects over 70 percent of amputees who continue to feel the sensation (pain, pressure, etc…) of a limb even when it is missing.

**Rabid Lola: **Sweetheart, you spoiled the 'using urine to clean a jellyfish sting' angle for me. And so I improvised. I think I made it a LOT worse, don't you think? Hhehehehe. And it's all your fault. :p I kid! I kid! But really, it IS your fault. :D The pattern on Emishi's boxers? Um, Yellow rubber duckies on dark blue? -shrug-.

Oh look! I tortured Ban again. :D

**Yami Neko Tenshi: **Crazy? Insanity? Thank you for the compliment:D Hope you liked the insanity in this chap.

**Tastywheat: **Thanks for the con crit. Your suggestions were very helpful. I do tend to get a bit redundant, especially on a dialogue-heavy fic as this. Plus, it's set in such a tiny space and it's really hard to describe action that's plausible without getting too trivial. So I think I've unconsciously tried padding up the descriptive scenes so as to settle the pacing down a bit. It's almost like writing a one-act play but with written down direction. :D This is a style I haven't tried before, but with reviews like yours, I hope to improve. :)

**The Invader Androgynous: **Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoy the fic so far. Ban is wrong. Who says Akabane doesn't do rescues? Just not in Baywatch swim trunks. :)

**YunCyn: **So happy to hear from you again! Thanks for the props. Yes, I agree, GB needs to go back to its former silliness. Hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter. Do write again, okay? I look forward to it. :D

**Ran Ohki:** Haha! There's a reason they had to be literally loud. Or else they would've heard rescue coming. And where's the suspense in that? Hee! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Hope you liked the conclusion.

**Kitten Kisses :** I'm not sure if your review was intended to look that way, but thanks for the R and R. I really appreciate it! Hope you liked this fic as much as you liked "Catharsis". Cheers!


End file.
